What Does It Really Mean to “Stand in Your Leadership”?

When you hear the phrase stand in your leadership, what comes to mind?

For some, it might feel empowering—a call to step into your authenticity and take ownership of your life. For others, it may feel like criticism, even victim-shaming, as though it’s a judgment for not doing or being “enough.”

A friend of mine recently shared that the concept of “not being in your leadership” felt triggering to her, like it carried an undertone of blame: You should have done better; you weren’t leading yourself properly.

Her reaction is understandable. Leadership, especially self-leadership, can feel loaded with expectations. But what if we reframe it?

Leadership as an Invitation

When I invite someone—whether it’s a friend, my kids, or my husband—to stand in their leadership, it’s not about judgment or blame. It’s an invitation.

It’s an invitation to:

• Be seen, heard, and understood.
• Set boundaries and honor them.
• Express yourself fully and truthfully.
• Give yourself permission to make decisions that align with your values.

Standing in your leadership is about honoring yourself. It’s choosing honesty over convenience, integrity over avoidance, and alignment over people-pleasing.

What Standing in Your Leadership Looks Like

Let me share an example.

A few years ago, a friend of mine received an invitation to do something with another friend. She hesitated and considered making up an excuse so she could stay with me instead.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Caught in that moment where we’re tempted to tell a little lie—both to ourselves and others—to avoid discomfort.

But here’s the thing: every time we choose dishonesty, we teach ourselves that it’s okay to betray our own truth.

Instead, what if we said, Thank you for the invite, but it doesn’t work for me right now?

That’s leadership. It’s being truthful, setting boundaries, and respecting both yourself and the other person. It may feel uncomfortable at first—saying “no” often does—but it creates space for honesty and self-respect.

The Discomfort of Honesty

Let’s be real: standing in your leadership isn’t always easy.

It can feel like:

• You’re letting people down.
• You’ll be judged or abandoned.
• You won’t be liked anymore.

I’ve felt all of that. I’ve wrestled with the fear of rejection and the stories my mind tells me about what will happen if I’m honest. But here’s what I’ve learned:

Being honest with myself has brought me more fulfillment than any lie ever could.

When I’m in my leadership, I:

• Speak my truth, even when it’s hard.
• Say the things that need to be said, with love and compassion.
• Stay curious about my triggers and reactions.

Radical Curiosity and Triggers

When we’re triggered—when we resist standing in our leadership—it’s an opportunity to get curious.

Ask yourself:

• Why did I react this way?
• What is it about this situation that feels uncomfortable or unsafe?
• How can I honor myself better next time?

Understanding your triggers doesn’t just help you in the moment—it sets you free. It equips you to handle similar situations with integrity and self-awareness in the future.

Living in Alignment

Standing in your leadership means living with integrity and honesty—not just with others, but with yourself. It means expressing yourself authentically and allowing your true intentions to shine.

This doesn’t mean you go around blurting out harsh truths. You don’t need to tell someone their new outfit isn’t flattering. But you do get to honor your truth in situations that matter.

An Invitation to Lead Yourself

The next time it feels hard to be honest—when you’re tempted to say “yes” when you mean “no,” or hide your feelings to avoid discomfort—pause.

Choose honesty.
Choose alignment.
Choose leadership.

Let yourself be seen, heard, and fully expressed. After all, standing in your leadership isn’t about perfection—it’s about honoring yourself and living a life that feels true to you.