The Power of Radical Forgiveness: How Letting Go Sets You Free

Forgiveness. It’s one of those words we hear all the time, but how often do we really sit with its meaning? How often do we explore how conditional we are with forgiveness? And perhaps most importantly, does it matter how deep the injury goes when it comes to forgiving?

For a long time, I was caught in the trap of conditional forgiveness. I would hold on to grudges, rationalizing that the injury had to be “bad enough” for me to justify forgiveness. And the longer I held onto unforgiveness, the heavier the emotional burden became. But over time, I’ve come to realize something incredibly freeing: Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. It’s not serving me, and it’s not serving anyone else.

The Power of Letting Go

I want to share a personal story with you. I had to come to a place of forgiveness with my mother, who physically abused me until I was 16. Forgiveness didn’t mean excusing what happened. It didn’t mean saying, “It was okay.” It wasn’t about condoning anything. No. It was about choosing to release the emotional charge I had tied to those memories. It was about saying: “I will no longer let these events control me. I will no longer be emotionally connected to them.”

Forgiveness is not about giving a “pass” to those who have hurt us. It’s about choosing peace, releasing the grip of resentment, and understanding that we are all imperfect humans. It’s about giving grace to ourselves and to others, recognizing that we all make mistakes, and that’s part of being human.

The Cost of Unforgiveness

When we don’t forgive, we hold onto shame, anger, resentment, and self-judgment. These emotions erode our sense of self-worth. They keep our voices quiet, our heads down, and prevent us from fully showing up in our lives. Have you ever felt like you couldn’t take up space, like you needed to apologize for simply existing? That’s the weight of unforgiveness—and it’s a weight we don’t have to carry any longer.

Without forgiveness, we lose opportunities. We lose the chance to fully engage with our families, to make new friends, to take risks, and to pursue our dreams. The walls of resentment and bitterness keep us stuck in a past we no longer need to carry. What could you achieve if you let go of those old stories?

The Choice to Forgive Yourself

Radical forgiveness isn’t just about forgiving others. More often than not, we need to start with ourselves. We need to forgive ourselves for our imperfections, our mistakes, our judgments, and for the times we’ve held ourselves back. What are you holding on to? How have you hurt yourself, even unintentionally? When we don’t forgive ourselves, we hold shame inside, and that shame creates a barrier between us and our true potential.

I’m going to invite you to do something powerful. Get three pieces of paper and take a moment to reflect.

1. What am I forgiving myself for?
   Write it down, let it flow. Don’t think too much about it—just write. If it helps, try using your non-dominant hand to access different parts of your brain and get out of your head.

2. Who do I need to forgive?
   This could be someone from your past or present, or even someone who doesn’t even know they hurt you. Be honest with yourself, even if you’re not ready to forgive yet. Writing helps unlock things that are hidden beneath the surface.

3. Who do I get to be once I release this baggage?
   This is the most important question. Imagine who you could be without carrying these heavy emotions. What does that look like for you? What do you feel? What new opportunities open up when you let go of the stories that have been holding you back?

The Freedom of Forgiveness

Look, you’re not going to do this perfectly. And that’s okay. Personal development is messy. It’s about the journey, not about getting everything “right.” But getting curious about the ways we’re holding ourselves back is the first step toward true freedom. If you’re ready to release the past and create space for a more fulfilling life, I’d love to support you on your journey.

If you want to dive deeper, if you’re ready to unpack some of this and start living in your full potential, reach out for a 30 minute call... it's my gift to you.

You deserve to live every single moment of your life in ultimate fulfillment.