Breaking up with the need for validation

 We all want to be right. Not because we’re striving for perfection, but because being wrong feels unsafe. It can make us feel like outsiders, like we don’t belong. And deep down, we all crave belonging.

But here’s the problem: Our addiction to feedback, approval, and validation is keeping us stuck. It stops us from launching our dreams, from speaking our truth, and from stepping fully into who we are.

Think about it—how often do you hesitate before taking action because you’re worried about what others will think? Maybe you’ve had an idea for a business, but you’re afraid no one will want what you have to offer. Maybe you want to share your art, your writing, or your voice, but the fear of rejection holds you back.

So what do we do? We seek validation. We test the waters, calling a trusted friend or family member to gauge their reaction. We wait for someone to tell us, “Yes! That’s a great idea!” before we allow ourselves to believe it. And when we don’t get the response we want, we doubt ourselves. We procrastinate. We freeze.

Why We Crave Validation

This need for approval isn’t just a personality quirk—it’s deeply ingrained in us. As children, we were conditioned to seek external validation. When we got the right answer, we were rewarded with gold stars, high fives, and praise. We learned that being right meant acceptance, and that programming followed us into adulthood.

We believe that if we gather enough feedback, we’ll feel safe. But the truth is, validation doesn’t remove fear—it reinforces our dependency on it. We get caught in a cycle of needing approval to take action, which only strengthens our fear of getting it wrong.

What If Being Wrong Is the Best Thing That Could Happen to You?

What if making mistakes is exactly what leads to your biggest breakthroughs? What if the only way to fully step into your power is to let go of the need to be right?

Here are four steps to help you break free from the grip of validation-seeking and start trusting yourself instead:

1. Take Action Before You Feel Ready

Stop waiting for permission. No one is going to come up to you and say, “You’re ready now.” The only way to build confidence is to take action, even when it feels messy and imperfect. Start the podcast. Write the post. Speak your truth. And remember, you can always tweak and refine as you go.

2. Detach from the Outcome

Not everyone will agree with you, and that’s okay. Just like some people love mushrooms on their pizza and others can’t stand them, your ideas, opinions, and creations won’t be for everyone—and they don’t need to be. The only validation that truly matters is your own.

3. Reframe Failure

What if feedback wasn’t about approval but about growth? What if being wrong just meant discovering a better way? When you stop taking failure personally and instead view it as an opportunity to learn, you’ll move forward much faster. Fail fast. Learn fast. Fail forward.

4. Trust Your Own Voice

Your wisdom, experience, and perspective are valid right now. You don’t need anyone else to sign off on them. The world needs more of your unique expression—not a watered-down version filtered through other people’s opinions.

Your Freedom Lies in Letting Go

You weren’t meant to play small. You weren’t meant to live in the waiting room of someone else’s approval. You have something to say, something to share, something to create.

So what if you stopped waiting for feedback? What if you stopped needing validation? What if you let go of the need to be right and just went for it?

That space—the space between needing permission and taking bold action—is where your true power lives.